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  The Petraeus Files - All the...

  Ted Travelstead

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  WARNING: The satire you are about to read will change the way you look at our nation's leaders. FOREVER.In November 2012, General David Petraeus stepped down from his post as director of the CIA when it was exposed that he'd had an affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell.  The political scandal that unfolded would eventually include four-star generals, socialites, FBI agents, the Army, a stuffed Sasquatch, and the entire cast of TLC's Sister Wives.Hundreds, thousands—maybe millions—of e-mails were exchanged between these parties. Their computers have been seized by the government, and those e-mails would likely never see the light of day. . . . However, access to these confidential documents has been obtained by a most unlikely source: comedian Ted Travelstead. Through a perfect storm of dumb luck, desperation, and a favor from a friend with a working computer, Travelstead managed to secure these e-mails.  He has pored over reams of pages to give you an inside look at The Petraeus Files. Prepare to be amazed by:*The coded phrases Gen. Petraeus and his mistress Paula Broadwell used to keep their rendezvous private, and the numerous nicknames they had for each other ("Peaches: I want your plums in my juicer.")*Florida socialite Jill Kelley's official titles: Vice Consul of Sweet Times, Ambassador of Lady Town, Lil' Mayor Push-N-Pull, and Undersecretary of All Things Considered, to name a few.*Gen. John Allen's previously unknown penchant for Nip/Tuck fan fictionWith exclusive e-mails, chats, photographs, and illustrations, this is a book that will change the way you look at the military, our nation's leaders, and the phrase "rear admiral."

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  Mr Ballpoint

  Gerald Everett Jones

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  In 1945, Milton Reynolds introduced the ballpoint to the United States and triggered the biggest single-day shopping riot in history at Gimbels in Manhattan. The Reynolds International Pen Company made $5 million in eight weeks during the first non-wartime Christmas season. Thereafter, increasing competition from established companies such as Eversharp triggered several years of the "Pen Wars." An exuberant entrepreneur who had already made and lost several fortunes, Reynolds bragged that he "stole it fair and square." This novel is told from Jim's, his mild-mannered son's, point of view about coping with Milton's outrageous schemes then their sudden success.

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  Sketches Of The Fair Sex

  Anonymous Anonymous

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  Sketches of the fair sex, in all parts of the world. To which are added rules for determining the precise figure, the degree of beauty, the habits, and the age of women, notwithstanding the aids and disguise of dress. It is our design to present a pleasing and interesting miscellany, which will serve to beguile the leisure hour, and will at the same time couple instruction with amusement. We have used but little method in the arrangement: Choosing rather to furnish the reader with a rich profusion of narratives and anecdotes, all tending to illustrate the FEMALE CHARACTER, to display its delicacy, its sweetness, its gentle or sometimes heroic virtues, its amiable weaknesses, and strange defects—than to attempt an accurate analysis of the hardest subject man ever attempted to master, viz—WOMAN. (Summary from the book)

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  Grand Theft History - Volume Loud

  Doc King Cole

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  If you enjoy Grand Theft Auto, The Movie Hangover, Bikers, The Russian Mafia, humor chased with an Play Station vibe, 
  consider listening to Grand Theft History. 
  Synopsis 
  CEO Larisha Pushkin wants more power. She buys out Lizer, a pharmaceutical company. Yet it is the only company which does what is says; Change Your Life with Lizer. Years ago, the drug ‘figene’ took the World by storm. Described like Crystal Meth with a kick of Viagra. The gem of this opioid, users become who, not what they consume. The drug changes the internal part of the person, not their exterior. Users of the Nap (Napoleon) Ghost, give themselves enhanced charisma, success in most of their affairs. Unknown athletes are now finding endorsement deals. CEOs who were found to be weak are now lions of prowess. 
  The drug’s fatal side-effect is the fate knocker. In the Nap Ghost drug, death at the age 53, imprisonment, and poisoning give users a taste of their dreams. 
  Neuro-Physicist Jim Below founded the company. He refused to create an antidote to the kicker. This move gives Larissa the urgency to take control of the company.  
  Once in love, both Jim and Larissa are now on a collision course. Of course, they dare not speak of it to anyone. Like the rap adage goes, More Money, More Problems.  
  Volume Louder or Two will follow with enough interest. Peace Out. Doc King Cole

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  In Case You Missed It: the funny...

  Lindsey Kelk

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  What if Mr Right was right in front of you all along? The laugh out loud new romantic comedy from the Sunday Times bestselling author – available to pre-order now! 
  ‘Swoops you up and fills your heart with such joy’ Giovanna Fletcher, bestselling author of Some Kind of Wonderful and Eve of Man 
  ‘It might be the funniest and most relatable of ALL BOOKS EVER’ Lucy Vine, bestselling author of Hot Mess 
  ‘I loved it’ Mhairi McFarlane, bestselling author of If I Never Met You 
  When Ros comes home after three years away, she’s ready to pick up with life exactly where she left it. But her friends have moved on, her parents have rekindled their romance, and her bedroom is now a garden shed. All of a sudden, she’s swept up in nostalgia for the way things were. 
    
  Then her phone begins to ping, with messages from her old life. Including one number she thought she’d erased for good – the man who broke her heart. Is this her second chance at one big love? Sometimes we all want to see what we’ve been missing…Readers already love In Case You Missed It: 
  ‘Hilarious and full of relatable moments’ Leanne, 5 stars 
  ‘genuinely laughed out loud’ Lulu, 5 stars 
  ‘Funny and romantic’ Emma, 5 stars 
  ‘Lindsey Kelk has done it again’ Lauren C., 5 stars

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  Jim Morrison's Adventures in the...

  Mick Farren

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  Part devil, part angel, the specter of Jim Morrison has haunted America's consciousness since his premature death in 1971. His spirit seemed dark, and the graphic despair of his Lizard King persona reigned supreme in his lifetime, but Jim Morrison died with a smile on his face. Was his journey through the afterlife as tumultuous as his journey through life? This is the question Mick Farren answers in his fascinatingly complex novel based on one of the twentieth century's most enigmatic figures.Jim Morrison's Adventures in the Afterlife picks up the story of Morrison as he hurtles through a purgatory-like afterlife in search of some way to bring his soul to peace. Along the way he finds Doc Holliday--and together they find themselves chasing the restless fire-and-brimstone evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson, whose soul has broken after death into two warring halves. McPherson's sexier half becomes the object of Jim's obsession, and as the two struggle to find each other in this disordered land, their wild, careening chase through a dozen dystopiae recalls imagined worlds as diverse as Burgess's A Clockwork Orange or Terry Gilliam's Brazil.This is a daring, hilarious romp through the landfill of millennial society. Possessed of an imagination that rivals that of any of our edgiest fantasists, steeped in the detritus and ephemera of three decades of pop culture, Mick Farren has crafted in this new novel a bizarre and compelling fantasia.

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